Just some thoughts

   Happy Easter everyone!  I was sitting her reading through some friends' blogs while my husband and son are sleeping, and felt like I had some thoughts I should write down on my own blog.
   We are at such an interesting stage of life right now.  Matt is graduating in four short weeks, and we are starting to apply to jobs literally all over the country.  It is so crazy to have no idea where we'll be in a few weeks, but I am SO grateful to know that Heavenly Father has a plan for our lives, and that no matter where we go that I'll have my sweet husband and our precious Ian.  If I have them with me, I will be alright.  I'm grateful to know that wherever we go will be what will be best for our personal growth and learning.
   I feel like the past year and a half have been full of those growth and learning experiences for our family.  One that is especially for my growth is our struggle to have another child.  Ian is now 3 1/2, and he brings such joy to our home!  We love him so much and just cannot get enough of him.  I love those sweet moments when he'll kiss my cheek, or say, "Mommy, you're my best friend!  You and Daddy and Ian are best friends!"  It warms my heart to hear my sweet boy say, "You're a princess, Mommy," or "Mommy, you so pretty!"  Or those moments when I've been impatient with Ian, and I'll apologize to him, and he'll hug me and tell me, "It's okay, Mommy!  Jesus loves you!"  What a tender mercy to have been blessed with this sweet child!
   Then, there are those moments when Ian wants so badly to play with someone, or asks me if I have a baby in my stomach, even going so far as to stop and fall to his knees to ask Jesus to help there be a baby in Mommy's tummy.  There are those moments when I think of all the fun he is missing out on by having a sibling close in age to him and my heart aches for him.
   I'll be honest with you.  There have been some times in this past 18 months that I have really struggled with this.  I felt like both Matt and I had known it was time to start trying to have another child, and I struggled with why it was taking so long.  I struggled when I was pretty sure I miscarried two or three times, and cried tears of heartache.  I struggled when I heard of family or friends getting pregnant so easy, trying so hard to put on a happy face, an "I'm-not-aching-inside face."  I have struggled when people tell me we should be having another child, or thoughtlessly asked "Why don't you have another one yet?" or "When are you going to have another baby?" 
   But you know what, I wouldn't change a thing.  I wouldn't trade this trial for anything.  I know it sounds cliche, but I am SO grateful for the things I have learned by going through this.  I feel like I've learned SO many things.  My relationship with my Heavenly Father has changed for the better, and my understanding of His plan for us has grown and deepened.  There is no doubt in my mind that He loves me, that He knows and wants what is best for me, and He knows what circumstances to put in my life that will help mold me into who He knows I am capable of becoming, and though that growth and change hurts, I welcome it.  I know that through it, my understanding of the eternal perspective grows and my faith and trust in my Heavenly Father grows.  I have come to trust that His timing really is best in our lives.  We cannot see the future, but He CAN.  Maybe Ian needs this time with just Matt and I, or maybe we'll have multiple babies, or maybe our next child will be special needs and need extra care and attention that I couldn't have given if our children were closer in age.  Maybe His plan for us is that we wait 10 or 20 years like Abraham and Sarah, and you know what, I am totally okay with that.  I have been blessed to feel peace.  I have been blessed to feel the joy of trying to live as He would have me live and the joy and peace that comes from trying to fully, truly submit my will to my Father's will. 
    I have come to better understand and appreciate what our Savior, Jesus Christ went through in Gethsemane.  He asked, "Father, please remove this cup from me, but nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done."  I have felt to pray as Jesus did, to please let this cup pass from me, please let us have another child.  But, this is what I want, and I want more what Thou dost want for me, because I know that that is what will be best for me and my growth.  I have poured out my soul, and felt the peace that the Comforter brings.  That peace is like balm to my soul, it heals me and fills up the aches in me.  It buoys me up so I can look to the future with hope in my heart, for I know that whatever the Lord promises, HE WILL FULFILL IT!  That doesn't mean right now, or on our timetable, but when it is truly best for us. 
   I feel like there have been times in the past 18 months when I have come to a crossroads in life, crossroads that you never think will happen to you.  There were times when I really wondered if I had a testimony, if I really knew that Heavenly Father was there, if I really believed that He had a plan for me.  Though there were soul-wrenching times of anguish, I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING!!  I have grown so much, and my testimony has been fortified.  I know without a doubt that my Father in Heaven knows me, He loves me, and He is in control.  As a parent, I know that there are times when Ian asks for things that aren't good for him, or times when I have to say no or not yet.  It's hard to see him keep begging for something that is not in his best interest, or for something he cannot have yet but that I can give to him later.  Recently, those moments have given me a glimpse into how our Father in Heaven must feel when we ask for things that He wants to give and knows He will grant us at a later time, or that really wouldn't be what we need in life to become who He knows we are meant to become.  He loves us so much, I'm sure He feels an ache for us and is full of sorrow to see us anguish so much over something.  But, I know that He sees the bigger plan.  Father in Heaven knows that if He gave us what we wanted all the time, right when we wanted it, we wouldn't learn the things we needed to, and that He would be depriving us of critical learning experiences.  Just like any loving parent, He knows He has to let us fall and get hurt sometimes, but He is right there with us through it all, already reaching out to comfort us and lift us back to our feet.  I am grateful He loves me enough to tell me not yet.  I am grateful my loving Father is helping me to grow, and opening my eyes to new understanding through the Spirit of the Holy Ghost. 
   I am grateful that my experiences have helped change the way I view others, to be slower to jump to conclusions about what is going on in people's lives, and quicker to be understanding.  I am grateful my trials have helped me be more empathetic to what others are going through, and better able to offer comfort and an understanding heart.  I have been amazed at how many other people are struggling with the same thing as I am, and I just want people to know that they are not alone in this, though sometimes you feel so isolated and alone as seemingly everyone around you is pregnant and having child number three or six.  You are not alone!  The neatest thing to me is that the Savior knows how I'm feeling, and He knows how to comfort me and offer me peace, if I am willing to turn to Him and accept His help.  I'm so grateful He is always there for me, always reaching out and willing and wanting to be there for me.  I just have to accept His help.
   So, as cliche as it may sound, I am grateful that a loving Father sees fit to try me, to test me, and to teach me.  I am grateful for these learning experiences, and I'm grateful that He tailors my experiences perfectly for me, as I know He does for each one of His children. I hope I'll always be able to look at my experiences with the attitude of using those circumstances to grow closer to my Father in Heaven and my Savior, and to try to see what He wants me to learn.  So as we come to yet another crossroads in life, with a destination I can't yet see, I know that if we go act and do, and follow the Spirit, we will end up where He knows we need to be, wherever that may be. 

Are not we all mothers?

I just listened to this incredible talk by Sis. Sheri Dew.  What an incredible view on women as mothers, and of our part and purpose in our Father in Heaven's plan!  We should rejoice in the abilities He has placed within EACH of us to nurture and save souls.  We have an integral part in His plan.  We have a purpose and a place!  This day, I am SO very grateful for the opportunity to be a woman and a mother, especially for the blessing of being entrusted with one of God's precious sons.  I am so grateful for the trust my Heavenly Father has shown in me and I hope to live up to all that He has created me to be, all that He KNOWS I can be!  Happy Mother's Day to all of you phenomenal women!  Here is the video: 

Easter egg hunt -- with a spiritual twist

Happy Easter! We hope everyone has enjoyed all of the fun traditions at this time of year.
I had a neat experience today that I wanted to share. Matt and I have talked a lot about wanting to keep the focus on the Savior on Christmas and Easter, and as I was thinking about how to do that, I felt like I was very blessed to have some ideas come. One of them was for our family home evening activity today. If any of you have had little children, you know how hard it can be to keep their attention for very long. I think it's great, because it helps me think outside of the box and figure out what works for us and our little one. Well, knowing Ian LOVES Easter egg hunts, and wanting to tie that in somehow, this is the idea I came up with: Using pictures of Christ throughout His life (I just used pictures from a book we made using a set of pictures from the Friend magazine) and a few eggs, I numbered the eggs and hid them with the coordinating picture. Inside each egg were the directions of which room to go to in order to find the next egg and picture, except the last egg had a treat in it. (I hid the first egg in plain sight to get us started, and my observant little Ian found it really quickly, before I was ready for my lesson to begin. Can't put anything past that little boy! He seriously is so observant and notices/remembers the tiniest details.) Then, for each egg/picture, I found a coordinating video on youtube of that time of the Savior's life. Most had a song and pictures or video clips, but one or two were video clips from the new Bible videos the LDS church has put out. For one event in the Savior's life, we just read the account from the scriptures.
The activity turned out even better than I'd hoped! Ian was SO excited to find each egg! It felt like Christmas excitement! :) For the first egg or two, he was so excited that he just wanted to move on and find the next egg, and didn't watch much of the movie. But, I was surprised how quickly he wanted to sit with us and watch the whole video. Ian would look at the coordinating pictures in his hands, and point it out when he saw it in the video we were watching. One experience with a video was particularly special to me. Ian had clearly felt the Spirit in a few of the movies and songs, but this one was different. We were listening to "This is the Christ" with scenes from when the Savior was resurrected and visiting his disciples in "The Testaments" and another LDS church produced movie about the Savior. Ian kept pointing the pictures and to the Savior and saying, "He's alive! I found Him!" and then twice he pulled both Matt and I in for a group hug and gave us huge kisses. I could tell that he felt the joy the Holy Ghost brings when we talk of Christ, and the love that follows that joy. It was such a neat mommy moment! I felt so blessed to have been a part of it. I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father inspired me to know what movies to do, and how to reach our precious two year old. It was a testimony to me about how children love to learn about the gospel, have family home evening, and feel the Spirit. It is never a waste to do family home evening with our families, no matter how much thought and preparation we may need to do. Children are so precious and so tender. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be a parent! Families bring so much joy!
If you are interested, here is the list of videos I used for our FHE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmLsEUWK4u4 (Away in a manger) pic #1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo1w7Zr_Jmw&feature=related (Jesus Once was a little child) pic #2

pic #3 - go to scripture in Matt. 3:13-17

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfzqVXdb9pk&feature=relmfu (I Know that My Redeemer Lives -- video of His life) pics #4 & 5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpFhS0dAduc&feature=relmfu (about the Atonement) pics #6 & 7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlKetn7ZiNU&feature=relmfu (bible version of the resurrection) pic #8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aqpvjsc6X8Y&feature=relmfu (This is the Christ -- resurrection) pic #9

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C1tH_WLEio&list=PLD00E61B5D4511060&index=6&feature=plpp_video (I'm trying to be like Jesus) play at the end of the hunt, after egg #7 is found

Hope you enjoy this beautiful Easter season! I know we have! Love you all!

Back to the blogosphere :)

Hey, everyone!

So, it has been FOREVER since I've written on here. To be honest, life is busy and when I have free time, neither this blog nor my cooking blog were priority. When I did have the itch to write, I didn't even know where to begin. But, thanks to a friend (thanks, Marie!) who has given me the needed nudge to get back on here and keep my family and friends updated.
I was thinking about life lately and all I've been learning. I think I'm going to take this blog a little different direction than just updating. I've been having so many neat experiences as a mom and wife, and so many, many things that I'm learning. I think the only thing that will get me on here regularly is if I feel like I could be doing some good or helping someone. So, I'm planning to post every day (or probably more realistically, every few days) and share some of the things I've been learning about myself, our Father in Heaven's plan for you and for me, about purposefully mothering and living our lives, and maybe even about what I've been learning about taking care of our bodies. Of course, there will be a liberal sprinkling of a certain cute 2 1/2 year old that has stolen our hearts, and other goings on. :)
I hope that by doing this, we can all learn together and strengthen each other. As I start writing, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the things I've written and what you've been learning, so please leave comments or message me on facebook if there is anything you want to share!
For now, I just want to tell you of our love for you. Thanks so much for always being there!! We have the best support system ever!!

Oh boy...

Haha! Oh dear! I am no good at this blogging thing anymore! Sorry! I'll just do a quick update of our lives. (Sorry no pictures this time. I have a ton, but I'll had to add some later!)

Ian is 18 1/2 months old now. He is such a fun little personality! He LOVES to play outside in this warmer weather. Ian talks and signs (thanks to Signing Time videos) up a storm now. Here is a list of what he can say now:

- sticker (which he LOVES to put all over his coloring book)

- bubbles

- bottle (can sign this one as well)

- fork

- spoon

- There it is!

- There ya go!

- catch

- ball

- up

- down

- walk (which he accompanies with pointing to the door, nodding yes and smiling) :)

- play

- day

- dog

- puppy

- woof

- meow

- quack

- naa

- baa

- shoes

- go

- please (accompanied by adorably signing please)

- thank you (says "tank you!")

- Diego (for Go Diego! Go!)

- movie

- Dora Dora (sounds more like "D, D"

- back (for Backyardigans)

- turkey

- cheese

- bread

- poopy

- pee (taught by his daddy!)

- more

- up

- down

... and many other words and signs, but I'm sure you don't care to read any more. :) He is starting to put together phrases and he knows and understands so much that it astounds me sometimes! Ian signs eat and all done, rather than says them and does such a cute job of letting us know when he's ready to eat. :) He knows that when it's time for bed or a nap and runs to the fridge and tries to open it up to get the milk or juice out. Such a cute little guy!

He just loves to go on walks, play with the neighbor kids or relatives, absolutely loves throwing, catching, bouncing, or kicking balls (Ian adores anything that includes balls). He enjoys reading books and coloring, and has gotten quite good at taking the lids off of his markers. :) Uh oh! Haha! Ian is great at communicating what he wants or needs most of the time, and it cuts down on some fits. :) Thank goodness! Lately, Ian has taken to grabbing Matt's or my hand and dragging us to wherever he wants us to go or whatever he wants us to do with him. It's super cute. Ian is very good at going up and down stairs, and loves to run upstairs to play while Mommy is doing something boring like dishes. It's so cute to hear his little running feet upstairs! The second he finishes climbing the stairs, he is off and running. :) No surprise there!

Matt and I are so grateful to have this fun little guy in our lives. He brings so much joy and laughter, not to mention he is really good at keeping us active. ;) We just love him to pieces and can't imagine life without him. We're so grateful Ian has been a part of our lives for the past year and a half.

Matt is almost done with school for this semester! YAY!!! We are all so excited and just can't wait!! He took his first of two finals this week, and will take his last final of the semester on Thursday. It was so great this year, because two of his four classes had optional finals, so Matt just worked hard and doesn't have to take them. So, this week won't be too bad, as far as finals go. I'm really proud of Matt. He has done a fantastic job keeping up and excelling in his classes and at work (he got 102% on his last accounting test! Go Matt!!). On top of all that and church responsibilities (he's been in the Elders Quorum presidency since November I think), Matt has been so good at spending lots of time with Ian and I. Ian just adores his daddy and loves when he's around. Daddy is one of his best friends. Often when Ian hears Matt coming downstairs from working or studying, Ian will jump up and run for a ball, then bring it Matt and begs him to play with him. (You just can't say no when he's looking at you with those hopeful blue eyes and saying, "Ball? Ball?") They love to rough and tumble together. So fun! I just love watching their daddy/son interactions.

One thing that they really love to do together is watch basketball. No joke. Ian will sit there during the entire game, only getting up when there are commercials and coming back when the game starts again. Ian claps and gets excited at the right times, and he is mesmerized by the fun of it all. Needless to say, Matt and I have a sports watching buddy. :) Hopefully all of our kids will enjoy sports as much as we do!

As for me, I've just been enjoying spending time with my boys every day. Ian and I try to do lots of fun things together, and I just love our relationship. We still have playgroups that we go to weekly (which we both LOVE), and I've loved going to Zumba class twice a week with a couple of ladies in my ward. It is great! It gives a great workout and fulfills my need to dance. Great combo! :) Matt is great and supports me in going so I don't feel guilty about being out of the house two nights a week. Besides, I think Ian enjoys just hanging out with Daddy. :)

We are so excited for this warmer weather and for the summer months ahead. We're looking forward to our anniversary in a few weeks (3 years!!!! Can you believe it?!?!), Matt's birthday, and our big road trip to Washington state in June. We're just loving life! :) Hugs and loves from the Schmoldt Family. Hope all is well with each of you!

Our Big Boy and Many Changes

Okay, I won't spend too much time on apologizing or making excuses for how long it's been since I blogged, but I do want to say I'm sorry. I hope you'll forgive us for keeping you in the dark.

Now, it's onto the fun stuff. :) IAN IS NOW A WHOPPING 1 YEAR OLD!!! Ian turned one on October 15th, 2010. He is the light of our lives, and he brings so much joy to us and those around him. We were in the process of moving on his birthday, but we made sure to take him to fun places, like parks and out to eat, and did our best to help him have a great day, even though he wouldn't understand that it was his birthday. But oh how Ian would smile when we kept say, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IAN!!!!" and being to happy all day long. Where did the time go?!

Here's a few pictures of the day (our batteries died so we couldn't get too many pictures):

He LOVED his balloons! His face looked about like this for quite awhile. He carried these balloons around everywhere for days. :)

He was elated! Look at that happy face!

Opening presents. Thank you everyone for your thoughtfulness! Ian loved all of his gifts, and we love his cute outfits. :)

Could this be our little baby? Here is a newborn pic vs. a more recent pic.

Look how big he has gotten!!! It's insane to me! Ian is at such an incredibly fun age. Here are a few things that he does now:

- has 7 teeth, 4 on top, 3 on bottom.

- can say many things, most often being "Mama," "Dada," and "Oh wow!"

- has been able to walk REALLY well since about 10 1/2 months.

- great at sharing. He loves to grab two of whatever he is playing with, and hand one of them to either Matt or I, and then he smiles really big. :)

- great at 'helping' to load the dishwasher. Ian will grab something out of the dishwasher as we're loading it, and then he'll come over to us at the sink and stretch his arm up as high as he can without going up on tiptoe, and he'll hold the utensil or dish there until we grab it. He loves to help!

- speaking of help, Ian loves to help Mommy vaccuum. He is a champ at holding on and helping to push the vaccuum around. He even knows to back up when we need to go the other direction.

- Ian is great with other kids. We have many opportunities each week to play with other kids of all ages, and he does fantastic each time.

- He knows where the fruit snacks and licorice are, and his newest thing is to grab a package and bring it to us, and his cute little noises beg us to open it for him.

- Ian is still working on learning how to do stairs, and he is doing pretty well! He's been able to go up them for awhile, but figuring out how to come down has been more interesting. Since he never did more than the one legged scooch/crawl thing, he likes to go down the stairs sitting and scooching his way down each stair, instead of crawling backwards. Whatever works for him! :)

- knows how to turn the lights on and off. It's so cute! His little pointer finger will point straight out when he wants to play with the switches, and you know exactly what he wants.

- At his 12 month check up, he was in the 90th percentile for height at 32 inches, and in the 65th percentile for weight, at 21 3/4 lbs. Perfect!

Ian is so creative and fun. He brings so much joy into our lives. He loves to pretend to cook, and he's working on convincing Mom and Dad that he can help stir things on the stove. :) Ian was super excited when he has succeeded twice. Haha!

Here are a few pictures of Ian's adventure eating his cupcakes. (This was after he turned 13 months old, but better late than never, right?)

Getting ready... (See that cute little finger? He definitely knew he wanted one of those!)

SOOOO excited!

Going for it!

Getting messy!

The action shot. He was not so fond of the frosting sticking to his hands. Here he is trying to fling it off. :)

Going for seconds. :)

And of course, bathtime! It was totally worth all the messy cleanup to see him enjoying himself. Happy birthday, Bud!

Ian loves to play in our new place. It's a two level townhouse-style apartment in Logan. We are blessed to have a spacious kitchen (which I was SUPER excited about after our last galley style kitchen), and three bedrooms and 2 1/2 bathrooms. We are loving our new ward and neighbors, and we're excited for the new adventures it will bring. Matt and I miss our old friends from our last ward, but I'm sure it'll be great to make new ones here. We also were sad to leave our callings, but it has been nice to have Matt home on Sunday mornings and we've had more time to spend together. We're excited for the time when we'll get new callings, but for now, we're enjoying the freedom without them.

We're headed to Washington state on Wednesday to spend the Thanksgiving holidays with Matt's family. We are SUPER excited! It should be good times!

Summer Update #3

Before Matt's mom Sheri and his little brother Tanner left town, Sheri took Matt, Ian, and I to an Ogden Raptors baseball game. We had SO much fun! None of us were sure if we'd enjoy it much, but we had a blast. We had some really good seats, close to the action and with fun people around us. Here are a few pictures from our adventure.

Ian got tired and started cuddling with Daddy. It was pretty adorable, if I do say so myself. Ian did so well throughout the entire game. We were all very impressed. He is such a sweet little guy.

Later in the month, my little brother Carter got baptized. He is an amazing guy. He can do ANYTHING with his hands. If he can imagine it in his mind, Carter can make it come to fruition with his hands. He is incredibly creative. Carter is such a sweet, kind guy. We are so grateful to have him as part of our family.

My dad get to give one of the talk (the on on the Holy Ghost, and he did an INCREDIBLE job) and then baptize Carter a while later. I'm so grateful we were able to be there for that.

*My daddy and Carter right before he took the plunge. (It was cute, because Carter was a little nervous to go under the water, so when he came up he started spluttering and wiping his face. Just the way he did it made us all laugh.)*

*All of the family who were able to come to Carter's baptism (except Shenae who was sweet enough to take the picture for us).